|Message #2124 of 2340||
|Namaste Swami-G and cherished writers!
Namaste and Great Day -
* A song sounds inside: 'It's MY life and I do WHAT I want!'
0- not surprising at all. The ego theme song. Of course we have freewill and one can choose to attempt to be the author of their lives- and with this then we are caught up in all the suffering mind and the karmic whammy's that come along with it. So yes it's your life and you can do what you want up to a point - but you pay the consequences of your actions. And minds attachment to issues brings pain - sorrow - and suffering. So if you enjoy that and can convince yourself that it is worth it - then what can be said ? hahahahahahaahah
* Nevertheless your precious words made me feel lost for a while, desperate and isolated from your 'Absolute'.
0- it's not *my* Absolute. If you read the mails from others on this site you will find that they are also dissolving into This IS. That as they go forward with the practices and methodologies and Surrender within the Heart - letting go of all the mental drama then things begin to shift radically. No one *owns* Absolute nor is it something that is not there to begin with. Absolute is the Ground of Being - it is what you are at the core once the coverings that drive the me - aka the conditioned mind - is blown out. When the identification as a limited form which has death looming and waiting to snatch one up is over. One progresses through various experiences which show one they are not the body - nor the mental imagery or thought structures. These then begin to break down and more of a Flow is entered. The heaviness dissolves and a Stillness emmerges. It is a process that takes place.
* Here is no 'Absolute', only my subjectivity, feelings.....
0- Everyone starts out in the same place - we have all been caught up in our emotional turmoil - and dramas before entering the path in all sincerity. You are not some unusual case. It is just that perhaps you are a bit
more resistant. And if you are Happy with your life and it brings you Peace and the mind is enjoyed for all it's rambling - then stay where you are. No one is saying that humanity HAS to step into this path. It is a choice
that one makes - a heart pull to find out What is God. What am I and What am i Not. One that is mildly curious should seek entertainment elsewhere. If one is securely happy with their lives then they will not even begin to search. If one is searching then get Real with why. That is all.
* My web works pay attention for you Swami-G and your 'Absolute',
0- No one in mundane minds revolving pull can *understand* what is Absolute. This is impossible. As mundane minds continued revolving is vibration and duality. Absolute is only known in Non-Duality. This takes allowing the mundane mind to still or to burn it's self out. This is where the practices come in. And as yet you have only begun to encounter the very begining practices. Nothing deeper has been given simply because you toy with the idea about this - but are not in any way committed to the path in earnest. The ongoing drama with old guru's etc. is still being played out on a daily basis through you yahoo group and web works (as you like to term them). So until there is a very earnest desire that rises up which is stronger than the desire to continue in these ever stirring monkey mind ways of jumping from here to there in endless succession, it would do no good to give you any deeper practices at this time.
* How can my look go deeper? My subjectivity is thrilling!
0- exactly and you won't go deeper as long as your attention is gripped by the word works and being enthralled with your life drama. When you enjoy your drama even in a sick way then one doesn't want to let go
of that identity that is being created in the midst of it. It is like someone who makes a traumatic event and the resulting fears their identification. No one likes to suffer but this is something that they are familiar with, and if they get well Then What ???? As they have been so wrapped up in the drama trauma story and they have gotten attention this way - that they don't want to let go of this. Some are so wrapped up in their various drama stories - issues - fighting - that they think they will lose something. Nothing is lost but suffering. When
the mind starts to still and the me begins to dissolve people will panic as one is confronted with the feeling of impending death. And this feels to be 100 % real - it's not just a mental shift or another ideology. One passes beyond this veil and nothing dies but the illusion of a me.
* But to meet this Lady I bought Samarpan's boring hours of sleeping pills.
|0- when one is caught up in body desires etc. yes to this
one it would be thrilling.
Then you will be caught up in guilt
for trangressing the sanctity of your relationship with your woman.
Here there is no such need for these types of body desires as every
moment of Life has a subtle thrill one could say. It is quite difficult to
explain - but nothing is lost. Vairagya arises and this is not a repression
or felt as any loss - it is rather a freeing up - and no longer being driven
by passions which in the end bring only more sorrow and suffering in their
wake. When one only knows the attachments to external pleasures then it is
hard to convince one that what they have is quite limited in nature. But if
you are enthralled with such things then stay where you are. That is all.
* Yes, Swami-G, how can this better engagement with a 'real Spiritual
0- we have been engaging on one level for sometime now. ahahahahahahahah to go deeper then it requires a willingness to let go of some of the driving things which you take to be part of your nature. - they aren't in the end. No teacher can break through blocks which a seeker keeps in place, Unless there is trust on the part of the seeker. What has been seen from here is that on one level you do want to go deeper and yet there is this fear of losing something. And every time there starts to be an opening there is an immediate pulling back again. Another re-emphising of your stubborn nature which is entranced by it's drama. hahahahahahahah What can be said. This is the way it is.
So in order to go deeper one has to be willing to let go of this knee locked stance such as the opening song playing in your head - It's my life and i do what i want. This song then must be redirected from ego doing what it wants to putting it's face into the wind and wanting the path more than it wants to do it ongoing drama.
you would be quite welcome as a Sadhaka but perhaps this isn't quite yet a
strong enough desire. It wouldn't do to give more until you are ready for it.
To give it to early there wouldn't be enough comittment to follow through and to give it time to work within. As the starting Balanced Breath and the I AM THAT I AM - and the OM THAT I AM, more than likely were done only for a few days and then dropped. Have you been using these continually ?
If not then this shows that perhaps there isn't enough staying power for the next step along the journey. If you are interested then Dive into these with relish and give them a chance to begin to take root.
Closed eyes intone out loud I AM THAT I AM - allowing the vibration to be felt within until the whole of the body is resonating with this. with open eyes silently saying OM THAT I AM - and this is said no matter what one sees. This will begin to break down the walls of separation.
Remember this is a journey - and as in all journeys one gets to the destination one step at a time. There is no one practice that is going to miraculously cause an immediate shift. It takes time for these to take root and grow and then start to dissolve the mind play and attachments.
* Did I complain about my failure? A song flatters me: 'Non, rien, ne
rien, non, je ne regrette rien!'
G Ego is simply an attachment to body/mind transients with an attachment to ones story as a self identity. This does not mean egotistical. You have been honest - and this is quite fine. It is better to recognise that you aren't ready than to jump into something to early. When there is not a heartfelt commitment in place then it is bound to fail. As it takes will power to continue forward until things begin to manifest and take root.
* Your compassionate caring is felt in your long love lectures deep inside and creates sadness inside about 'me'.....
0 - don't be sad. This interaction is not in place to make you feel bad. It is here to give you rather Hope and to say that it IS possible to go from being stuck in the various drama's to a releasing into Freedom. The key is that one has to first see and admit that their way isn't working. One has to finally give up the fight and the projecting outward with a getting caught up in externals.
The attention then is shifted to the internal journey. Rather than keeping attention on the rising and shifting mind - ones attention is put wholly on the mantras and practices given. This will give one a stabalizing point to allow mind to burn itself out without continued engagement which only fuels the fires of more drama entrenchment.
* No flight after these fights will follow,,,,,
0 - there wouldn't be this ongoing dialog if there wasn't the knowing that within you is one that is searching and one that is sincere within his own way. It is just that you have had prior experiences in which you felt let down. OK this is understood and that it takes time to be able to come to enough trust to progress forward.
0- start with the practices already outlined. start reading through the site here and develop a willingness to join the community here - as they will be supportive of your journey - as all on this site are in the midst of their own journeys.
If you can stick with these then we will begin to move forward.
Maha Shanti OM