|Namaste Ganga!||Blessings Sat*Chit*Anand Shanti-Shanti-Shanti OM
Love- Light - Great Peace & IS
|* You create an intense emotional
atmosphere with you heart touching letters, your web-sites and your online
lectures in your groups! Without – or let’s be more honest – with jealousy
my congratulations! I thankfully appreciate, that you pay so much attention
for a wild warrior, who starts and ends all days with the prayer: ‘G*D
save me from enlightenment and other evil events!’
|G hahahahahaha well don't know what you
will draw in with that mantra - but each to their own. It's not
enlightenment that is the problem as that blows out the conditioned mind
ramblings, what it is that you fight against is false gurus - false prophets
- now this one is quite valid.
We all fight and kick against the goads for sometime - i also fought so many things along the way - or at least thought i was. hahahahahahaha In my case though this passed in time and was pulled into what is termed the holy of holies where no doubt may remain as to what is Reality which is Unchanging from which is the transient ever changing show. So in this came my Freedom at last.
|* In Seattle in those cold autumn days
1983 I hardly tried to ‘’under-stand’’, what’s wrong with me not worth to
participate in this ‘cosy circus club of divine devotes’! So I missed my chance, to accompany
my beloved World Master Bhagwan Osho into an U.S. jail like HIS Highest
Holy Secretary Ma Anand Sheela, who has been so lucky to meditate
years in U.S. jail.
G be Happy that you were out of it early. Why are you upset to be turned loose from such an organization? Yes i understand at first the ego feels as
if it has been betrayed - but in the larger picture What would you
have *Gained* by being there? Would it Really have
Freed you from the conditioned mind ? or was it simply creating a
bhagwan conditioned seeing?
Party hearty in the name of spirituality ? or was it playing to ego's ? While some of his writings are fine - how it translated out into practices is another thing entirely. Yes i get into hot water for saying this but he shouldn't have been a Guru - a writer yes - but he jumped on the bandwagon of free sex and the hippy era - in the name of freedom he created more bondage for many many seekers. This is a sad thing to leave in your wake.
Are you morning that you didn't get jail ? hahahahahahaha Then again on not such a funny note - in one way you did get jail time. i term this Velvet Bars - the prison of kicking against the goads and attempting to keep yourself *safe* from being hurt again or more. But looking at this - are you still not hurting ? No matter how much we rail and strike out - it comes from pain. We want to see ourselves as strong - but in reality it stems from a deep pain - and this is sad. How do i know this ? Because i have been there at one time in my search - deep - deep - pain - that lashed out at all that i perceived as being the Cause. But none of the lashing out cured it - it did not bring relief. It was simply ongoing but as you i also convinced myself of being some righteous warrior. So i can understand what you are doing - Why - what motivates and keeps that wheel turning. Also i can say that this way doesn't ever cut the chains that bind. It only keeps the wheel of pain in motion and ingraining the pain even further into a solid mass. What we try to break free from by fighting we only serve to feed it's energy against us. Ah this is a tough lesson we come to learn more often than not the hard way. i know that here it was learned the hard way. Hopefully you can escape this one more rapidly than i did.
* Bhagwan Osho meanwhile gave His life – like Jesus - for our sins.
G now this is utter nonsense - i give what may be given not for anyones sins - but to aide them to step off the wheel of suffering. i don't save anyone - they must save themselves - there are no magic wands. i am not a savior - but a Guru. Which is simply one that has stepped out of the darkness and is willing to Share ways and means - methodolgies that may aide others in their journey's. For Osho to say he was doing it for others sins is hogwash.
|* Bhagwan Osho complained several times about secret Thallium poison in His days of U.S. jail. So His Enlightened Super Sensitive Body, His Lotus Paradis, perished soon and left Him 19-01-1990. Other sinning sannyasins report, that He ordered His doctors to help Him die.||
G who knows what the truth of this is or is not - in any case Karma and the Universe caught up with him. (yes this is a controversial statement) but this is how it is seen here.
|* Myself, as doubting sinner, cursed
already with my family name ‘Thomas’, the doubting one
of Jesus analphabetic devotees,
|G ah Thomas simply wanted to see what was really there - hahahahahah so he put his hand in the side of jesus and so there was no more doubt. this wasn't necessarily a bad thing - he wanted to find out IF it was Real or not. Nothing bad in this what so ever. So- called doubting Thomas simply was seeking Truth from supposition. Maybe it was a wise thing to make sure.|
|* and after many more experiences alive
with other exciting Gurus like Poonjaji in Lucknow, disciple of
Ramana, and 10 years more of enlightening evening hours devoted
to an disciple of Poonjaji, Guru Isaac Shapiro and some other guys in the
Enlightenment Entertainment biz
|G i once had someone one of my yahoo
groups that complained i didn't give long enough or humorous
enough answers like Osho - hahahahahahaah i told him you buy me
a rolls royce and i'll entertain you as well. hahahahahahaha in other words
i am not in that business - Satsangs are not sold here - not promoted
- no shows. Yes Osho was into showmanship - people will pay for
entertainment and playing at the spirituality game. Many guru's will
feed egos - give them what they want to feel good - all the strokes.
But this breaks through nothing. This difference is i don't play - oh don't get me wrong we have a lot of laughter here but it isn't at the expense of the spiritual journey. It may aide in giving some relief when things become difficult. As usually the spiritual path will become Difficult when one is facing their fears and digging through the egoic holdings or averisons.
|* like Swami Prem Tyohar or Swami Anand
Mikaire from the Osho lineage and after years of costly cyber and personal
caring of an ‘energy liberated’ friend Swami Anand Jivano aka
Michael Kabir, disciple of Wolfgang Rudra (another one from the Osho
lineage) and after years long voyages through different Cyber Gulags of
Politic Pesting Priests like Bob Rose (Meditation Society of America), Jerry
Katz (NonDualitySalon), Swami Deva SSarlo (GuruRat and LeavingOsho),
Swami SSackRatShita (Belgium), Swami Surrendra (Munich) or Swami
SSchmarrndoofi (Berlin) ...all these poor praying people searching for a
higher self on the voyage from ‘Inferior Hell to Superior Hell’
sorry and enough Ganga: ‘SpitShituality’
gives me the creeps!
|G well why you continued to seek aide
through others of Osho's realm is surprising in one way and not
surprising in another. After all when we come from a disapproving *family*
whether physical or spiritual etc. We continue to seek *acceptance*
from the one that has hurt us. IF only they would accept us. Then my
life would be OK. Sometimes and in my own life this had to be looked
at hard. hmmmmmm - Looking into my own
situation (as this is all i can speak from with certainty) i saw that
i ran my life around the disapproval and the negative that had been
put in this direction (years of abusive drama) .
Then looking further what was seen was really that there was nothing that could be given from that end - as his conditionings were driving his misplaced anger and discharging.
So SEEING that what was being directed my way as a child came out of ignorance and that to continue to run my life based upon another's ignorance really wasn't of value - so there was a letting go of All the baggage that had been collected from that time. People give only what they have to give- many times they have little to give - as most are running on the fuel of ignorance - pain - and collected ideas. Most are wrapped up in their own show - what i term the soap operas of their lives. This translates to all segments of society and all have things that are driving their actions - Only when Realization comes does the driving wheel of conditionings become disengaged.
|* You’re not shocked?
|G no not at all shocked - saddened perhaps that you seem to feel the need to lump Anything to do with spirituality into one mold. Not all fingers on the hand are the same.|
|* You have encouraged me to write more
open minded – without political correct respect for your Buddha Biz, in need of reputation and
recommendation to collect not only attention for your deep divinity
but some bucks too. Has my natural nasty Prussian perverted male
mischievous mind in future lost your loving attention now?
G how many bucks have you given here in order to have this conversation ?
What has been asked from you ? Your pessimism is your own undoing - in this
there is sadness for you.
You lash out - out of pain - like a child who has to test - and test - and test - to see if they are truly loved. This happens with kids that are sent to foster homes - they will push and push and push to SEE if there is Love there or only collecting the paycheck.
There is no paycheck here - so you can quit testing. The attention you get from here is given because what you are going through is understood. Your methodology of attempting to shock and continuing to lash out is understood. But i am not your enemy and Neither was i the one who brought your pain. Can at least this be seen ?
example: i had a father that was abusive - so does this mean that i should rail against all families ? Should every father in existence be lumped into that basket ?
Look yes there are many many abusive fathers in the world just as there are many misguided and abusive persons acting as spiritual leaders. But hatred against them all simply is not rational. Should not each be judged on their own merits and actions. What is this idea of being condemned and belittled until one proves their innocense.
|* Or will you continue, to punish my stubborn blockhead with your weird words whip upon my insensitive, thick Walrus skin? My woman calls me ‘Walrus’ BTW.||
G there is no punishment here.
|* The advantage in your eloquent enlightenment entertainment – last lecture with pics attached, double thanks! – is, that you pay attention for a horny heathen like me, who is almost allergic versus Satsang teaching and preaching.||
G no preaching - i don't have a pulpit. Satsangs yes (association with truth) but not sold - no shows .
|* Nevertheless I feel highly flattered,
that you, a Professional Kundalini Conductor, pay so much attention
with your precious private letters, you publish in your group.
|G nothing is done privately here - usually
there is a heading when people begin to write and on most of the
groups opening page that states : NOTIFICATION : DO NOT SEND
PRIVATE MAILS THAT YOU DO NOT WANT ONLINE ...... NONE OF MY MAILS ARE
PRIVATE IF IT IS ANSWERED IN PRIVATE IT WILL BE POSTED AND ANSWERED PUBLICLY
This is quite clearly stated on the group you have joined. What is said to you may be of aide to another. This is why they are listed on the site. Why Any letter is listed there. You are not the exception. This is the price of admission so to speak. Transparency.
|* All teachers have given up with my
stubbornness; everyone nowadays is afraid or bored about my greatest
gift: to turn friends into enemies!
||G there is no fear here - nor boredom - just sadness that you have been so caught up in your private war - that does nothing but continue to solidify your pain. No one ever becomes an enemy here - while someones actions may not be condoned Still no matter who it is or what they have done i simply can no longer remain angry with a person - actions are actions - but Anyone would be welcomed to come for a cup of coffee. i do not see someones actions as who they are. There is a difference - actions come out of ignorance or mis communication or any number of other things. The person has within them the Same Essence it is ONE. So while i may speak against actions - the person is another matter entirely.|
|* In our n0by group gathering under the label Free Speech the most eloquent enlightened entertainers and strict searchers and severe seekers on the path like Jerry Brooks (Buddhist lineage) or Jeff Belyea (Jesus lineage) have given up and only share, where I’m banned. I mock about their groups as ‘’Closed Censored Gulag Groups’’.||
G well be that as it may - i have no fear of you. Neither do i condemn you. Although i say that perhaps your actions are counter productive to what you wish to achieve.
|* Other, who tried hard, to find a friendly connection with my stubborn sarcastic trickiness like Eric (Paris) or Anand Sukanpally (an Indian down under) got really mad about my caring floppy finger and mind exercises in my joyful games.||G i doubt they are as joyful as you wish to pretend. Sarcasm sometimes may be a way to get negative attention and also as a buffering way to keep yourself in that velvet barred prison of self protection. In either case aren't there better alternatives ?|
|* Yes, there are hard, rainy, cold foggy days ahead in Germany in- and outside. You are the second one with my Munich friend Michael-Kabir, who changes my mostly murderous mood into a smile! Thank you with bow downs!||G keep the bow downs - a laugh is enough.|
|* But my misery is not felt depressive
enough, to ask anyone for help – except someone to make me smile, like
||G misery is a sad bedfellow - hard on the health. Better to Smile and laugh - laughter is a good medicine. It is clear that help may be needed to pull clear of the mire you are wedged in. But no one can do it for you - neither can aide be given until it is wanted. We have a right to our suffering and unproductive behavior and the Karma it dredges up. Eventually one sees that their efforts are going nowhere and the big hamster wheel becomes less attractive.|
|* Once again I send my letter to you
private plus to your closed, censored group ‘’G*D_realized’’,
where you can delete my word works or answer again. Thanks, I enjoy
all your answers:
|G there are no private letters here - not unless someone *specifically* requests them to be - then again you like shock value, and having the opportunity to call my group censored etc. It is censored if you wish to call it that - from advertisements - rants - and disrespectful agendas.|
|* Thanks for your compassionate caring! My feeling from diving deeper in your word works and web sites are absolute positive, blessed! I feel, that you have reached something, I’m still longing for – and I don’t not even know, what is is!||G well it is possible for you to find - no one can give it to you. But in order to get there it takes being willing to forego the externalized drama's. High price isn't it ? hahahahahahah It was enjoyable to speak with you - voices are better than words on a screen.|
* So I recommend everyone to visit your site
and ask for your advice.
||G you are sending them to a censored site - to someone in the buddha biz - to a satsang seller. hahahahahahahah did hell freeze over ? hahahahahahah|
|* To ask for advice is nearly impossible
for me, because that gives me a feeling of helplessness like on
a dentist chairs.
|G oooooooo dentists make this one cringe - like finger nails on a blackboard. Novocain doesn't work here - the body just absorbs it - they have to give IV meds and the moment they are done and take the IV out - am up. They worry i might fall over or something but no am steady as a rock. Don't know why am simply not affected by these meds.|
|* I first should admit, that my body brain
heart is not working best. But how can I do this, as long my
pain and suffering isn’t great enough?
|G i think it may be great enough - the
problem may be it is so great that to slow down at all brings it
all the more to the front of awareness. Many times this is the case.
This is why some people party all the time - or have to have Something to
fill up the hours with externalized attention. When we stop running
then we get whacked in the face - OOOF Ouch !!! as we pick ourselves
up off the floor and brush ourselves off - we shake the head (block or otherwise) and say Man what freight train just hit me ?
that time we can either begin to find a way to look at things and begin to
dismantle them - or run for the next activity of covering over.
Whether this be the next Osho entertainer or chasing all the gulag satsang
sellers - doesn't matter - covering over is covering over.
There are a few Guru's out there who don't play this game. Homey don't play that - The first step to finding freedom is by being willing to confront our own games - Oh yes we have all been the King or Queen of our own personal pity party. rather than pointing fingers and running the warrior trip - as what we are usually fighting is our own pain, the first step forward is to See that our enemies are not without but within. Now what are we going to do about it ????
De Nile (denial) is a river many sail - in fact they have BIG Houseboats moored there.
|Love & Light
May you find what you are seeking -