or a sinner's confession on All Saints' Day
|One week more on my shoulders! Again a weekend, again in my home, sweet home, the rolling home, the motor home: nobydick.
My most beautiful place this Friday night: 100 meters above a very little village: Litzldorf, near Bad Feilbach.
Strange warm night next to November: still 13 degrees Celsius outside. Colourful burned leafs fall. A soft breeze plays with the dry leaves. The leaves role with a harsh sound over the little street.
Next to the car a tiny creek murmurs his song in the silent night.
|A peaceful vision comes to my mind: simple people write simple stories about simple life! We share our personal pain, terrific tragedies as well as pleasure, joy and delight. What's to hide in little life?
In so many groups I read deep discussions about this or that Guru, this or that yoga-, meditation-, reiki- or zen-class, people have passed. Most are so utterly identified with their Guru or spiritual achievements, more than with a partner in life!
For what do you need a partner or friends? Isn't your Guru, your transformation, your enlightenment, your individuality not more than enough?
Real seekers prefer a very lonely life: partners have left long ago, either retarded in worldly affairs or deep in connection with a Guru. For what do you look for friends? Are you not in a devoted friendship to your Guru, your Higher Self? Are you not happy melting inside your Inner Woman, your Inner Man?
|You are, even better than anyone else. So what's left? Newspapers, media, TV, books, e-groups, another n0by sermon? Do you need to read this? You, who could write and tell much more profound not only what's worth for your own life - but for the life of others too?
Strange kind of sharing in these groups! When you watch others from your objective heights of insides, what do you observe?
|Are everywhere huge plates fixed before the head? ''Don't trespass my convictions!'' They are guarded by hell.
Are God-Devils convictions the curse of closed churches? Armour blessed believers an isolated island? Have these guys locked out real life, to cultivate dreams inside?
Fresh bread will be sold on Saturday in Litzldorf at 6.30 a.m. Are that not news from best quality, from reality? Ah, sorry, how could I write such stupid sentence! When you have bread, that are no news at all!
The tension of one week is gone. Gone with a eight hours walk. A voyage, a walk in this beautiful country Bavaria! Most I love these little path like today from Litzldorf up, up and up: I am all alone with my mind mill to polish the rough stone of thoughts into sparkling diamonds.
Five hours announces a sign in the valley, five hours walk up to the top of ''Wendelstein''. You wander along lovely places, pittoresque hills, pittoresque bavarian names: ''Schuhbräu-Alm, Randolm-Platte, Hochsal-Wand''. Difficult to translate - I'm not sure my efforts make much sense: ''Shoe-Brew-Hut, Rand-Snake-Plate, High-Sall-Wall''.
Bavarian people hold to their traditions since centuries. At least these traditions help to live in hard, snow freezing winter times, in short summers, where rain can spoil the harvest. At least these traditions root in rituals, to bring up one generation after another. An idealistic approach, I know.
|For what kind of survival these concepts in e-mail-groups? Create these mixtures of Christian-, Buddhist-, Chinese-, Zen-, Gaga-, Dada- and New Age- Religions a tension in the mind? Not for you cherished reader, don't you live and read utterly relaxed with more bread at home, you can eat?
Millions of words stored on these servers, send to your local hard disk. Million words molest minds. Do you smell fro most statements the stink of blown up ego demonstration? Everything may be behind - sure no experience - except in your answer, cherished reader! Does any answer come?
|Look at the ones, the happy ones, who have left our n0by gathering: Observe our lost lovers in n0by-group Veety Sweety and Laleela in the place, fitting the needs of real ones: meeting of friends! Shakespeare, Sado-Maso create an online melting of historical heights: How long will he play the devotional puppet, teased by her strings?
Does the quality of friendship increase with flatteries? Or with the amount of swearwords?
Hunt minority feelings the one, who need to shelter themselves in closed snake houses? Or live the most sensitive ones in this splendid isolation? The alones of Himalayan heights wisdom?
Please, will you not subscribe to Laleela's master mind? Please, will you not support Laleela's concept of friendship? Will you not observe this terrific therapeutic couple, Laleela with Gene Pool? Will both together save lost Sweety Veety? Lost in illusions? Is Sweety Veety like many old sannyasins absorbed and transformed in Osho's heritage? Ramarshi, Ma Anupamo, Sarlo, Surendra, Ali, Ma Tanmayo... who is the fittest, farest out in the competition of the enlightenment race?
Sobsobsob, am I left lost and lonely with all my nightmares? Like ghost from all over the world stumble those people tied firm in white fog of closed convictions: From many letters I know and still observe some web women; Laleela, Era, Melody, Caiti. Male cocks presents phallic swollen red necks: Jeffeji, Gene Pool, Sarlo, Don James, Greg Goode and several guys from the collapsing sannyas-scene: Sacratshita, Devabull, Sad Ananda, Ramarshi, Osho-S.A.C. What marvellous ghost dance on the funeral of common street smartness and sense! No, they all can't be wrong! Democracy wins: they all are right, I am wrong!
November death: Do I have to pay all sins of my meaningless molesting mind and life with an awful punishment death process? Please will you skip my last sinful sentences, to avoid infection of your pure, shining healthy mind and life?
|Here, in our n0by-gathering, the last silent Osho-Swamis with us: Sophisticated Indian Slime Sender in Munich Surendra and Bavarian Blockhead Suviro aka Ali. Ali from time to time has some good glimpses of taxi-driver jokes, to titillate tips from closed customers.
When my thoughts get lost in emotions, this word flood of esoteric cyber circus creates in my system, immediately my belly feels tension!
How can I hold to my vision, to create with the n0by domain and our n0by gathering a purification plant? Is anyone left here to demonstrate him/herself, when rude judgments hurt your self hypnotic EGO expectations?
Are customers in the purification process restless retarded in their most stubborn convictions? Or do they simply need a break of some more life?
|My feeling: these fellows leave n0by group stinking, before anything is cleaned up! In the contrary: they leave with some more knowledge, how to avoid deep inner cleaning better! So honest letters strengthen EGO convictions towards a more and more antagonistic failure in society and relationships.
This result only looks bad on the surface. Inside the fire burns false flatteries and closing convictions!
Remember the warning signs on our more and more arduous path to the end. The inevitable end.
The pressure of Mother Earth with the existential laws is not yet felt. The law of existence destroys all our EGO- and blown-up luxury! The law of existence changes misery to death. The final solution.
Retarded brains console themselves with the spiritual syntax. Poisonous jelly cream infiltrates the slime weak brain of these victimized believers. These sick ones look for shelter in spiritual gatherings and groups. Sing Halleluja, Amen and OMMMMMM!
Like money grabbing millionaires, these super greedy and super tense, those New Age Parrots suffer more and more form foolish fantasies! Look at your life and ask yourself: have you ever even anything experienced and integrated from your Gurus, groups and wisdom books?
|Good, you have skipped these my sinners confessions! His Blessings!
These sermons on Sunday are now polished at the lake Chiemsee. In the information centre in ''Felden'' are two internet-terminals for free use.
The night in Bad Failbach has been fine. The bath in the Hotel ''Schwarzenberg'' (black hill) has refreshed the tired muscles, washed sweat away.
I wonder about much light in the morning at 6.00 a.m. The clue to this wonder is easy. The watch caught a radio signal at 3.00 a.m., to turn one hour back: winter time. So a little more daylight in the morning. But still 50 days more with daily shorter, shorter light. And colder too: nobydick needs winter wheels.
In the cellar of the wave-water recreation bath in Ruhpolding are internet PCs, a costly joke, to read e-mails!
Thirty kilometers east from Ruhpolding is ''Bad Reichenhall'' - something like ''Bath Rich Hall''. Rich from salt like the next town across the German-Austrian border: ''Salzburg - Salt Castle.''
These holidays villages all have one main purpose: to grab the money of the visitors and to enrich all tourists sightseeing and sleeping places. One more is strange in these holiday places: mostly old retired persons enjoy the rich end of their life. The young ones have to serve these old world war veterans.
From Bad Reichenhall I drive half an hour to Salzburg. Finally the gas oil is 14 cents cheaper in Austria than in Germany. 70 Euros swallows the tank, 1.000 Kilometres road ahead.