Re: ' of course Americans understand Irony ', I said foolishly.

 Message 16272 of 16304  

Wed Sep 8, 2004  6:04 pm

as for me, being "in love" has always been futile. having been raised without parental love whatsoever took it's toll. maybe that's why i have sought love wherever twas to be found. like chamomile growing btwn cracks on sidewalks. like nasturtiums doing their OWN thing, and being friends with slugs. like dandelions whose seeds drift in torrents upon the winds.

in catholic schools - where was love?
in my heart.
maybe that's why i spent every recess
praying alone in the chapel.
in appreciation from nuns.
maybe that's why i was always
THE highest scored academic -
- the *scorned* - the GEEK...

maybe that's why when i was abandoned by
my "parents" in san francisco -
to people who abhored dark people
even children -
i found it down on Haight Street
in my little catholic schoolgirl uniform,
me and my older galfriend
carefully advising everyone
on matters of health and hygiene.

i would say that i found TRUE love
sometimes - when i watched them fighting at riots
that vanderwhite took me to many of.
sometimes in the faces of the people
i saw love
but then many times they would be killed
and only within an instant.
i was maybe 9 years old.

maybe that's why my
interior sensitivities developed
to such an extreme degree;
seeking love.

but wait - i was already
BORN an artist -
so what does it mean?
i was already RAISED my
whole childhood being told -
"Valerie - you are just
NEVER survive in this world!"
so what does it mean?

maybe it is just the old credo:
"don't get MAD - get even"?
but what do i know?

maybe that is why i must
sojourned for years to the mountains
because i found my love
in Gaia.
i am "in love" with Gaia.
the TAO - the 'Holy SPirit'...

the likes of cactus -
water seeking it's own level.
at least he is named 'cactus'
and not 'valiant and strong'
(another oxymoron).

amelia mean 'hard worker'
and she is a rose -
another breed from my mother.
we strive to make her a
force for good.

all that being said -
i will truly share now
my 'byzantine icon' attempt
which now hangs aside my hiway
thru the beating sun, the pouring rains
and the whipoorwill winds.
enjoy :-)
(or don't - whatever...).

love as i ken it,