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|Bad Duerrheim or the dream of final EGO reduction
Bath Duerrheim, something like 'Droughty-Home' is closed to Lake Constance. On Saturday I look over this beautiful biggest German lake in Friedrichshafen.
I pass the little village, where Ramarshi lives, and the hometown of Ma Anand Anupamo and meet in the evening my mother and brother in Bad Duerrheim. Around 320 Kilometers away from Munich I enjoy a voyage in cloudy, rainy Bavaria.
|Trees change their colours. The mountains hide their majesty in thick white clouds. All over this southern part of our country you buy fresh fruits, most apples. The market sells juice from these apple, bread, cheese, cookies - all wonderful items, to spend a weekend in Nobydick, the motor home.
Last time I met my 84 years old mother in May. She is older now. The body clock counts much quicker in her age about 80. Her friend from their lucky days in WW2 in Paris is already 94 years old. She has worked after the war all her life in the U.S. as nurse. When she retired she returned home. And now she lives in Bad Duerrheim, where my mother visits her in the same house.
|Salt water in a huge bath with sauna attract many people to visit Bad Duerrheim. The ''harbour'' for Motor Homes is crowed with more than 400 of this costly vehicles.
After a short dinner meeting my younger brother Ulrich and I look for a place in the night. We don't use the crowded parking place, leave Bad Duerrheim, drive around two, three kilometres, park there and prepare the car for the night.
The clock of my body-, brain-system can't calculate all the input anymore correct. It needs more than 24 hours, to remember, where in the car I have stored my toothbrush! And it's only one week ago, that I lived in this rolling room for three weeks. And the PIN of my cell phone is burned out from my memory in three hour sauna-, salt- bath of the precious wellness oasis Bad Duerrheim, called solemar
Strange, when emotional stress burdens the brain, the 10 year old palmtop computer PsiON refuses, to work together with my floppy fingers! Is this the revanche of the machin, because it fell on the floor in the bath?
My Brother left Bad Duerrheim after our night together in the car. Thunder rolled over and rain hammered on the roof . In the afternoon after the bath, I meet again my very old mother. She needs an eye operation soon.
|Her old friend from war times in Paris has done this operation several years ago. This day she confesses, that her eyes are blind since July. And she tries to get money from the doctor for the loss of her eye light. The Old Lady is 94 years old, worked all her life and she knows, how to fight with a smile on her lips. I guess, she'll fight for her right till her very last breath!
A terrific nightmare brings my dream about 'ultimate EGO reduction'. My brother tells his travelling stories in his Volkswagen Transporter about 20 years ago. I have travelled in this part of the world too many times: Yugoslavia, Turkey, South Turkey, all the way to Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, India.
|My brother tells stories from his sail yacht, the weapons, he would carry with him, when he would travel the coast of Africa or some other insecure places of the world right now like in the eastern sea.
The night boils these fantasy to a poisonous dream soup. I stand in a little village, dark in this night. Suddenly several men have entered the car. My murderer stands above me with a huge knife. I pray crying for mercy and offer all and everything to get out alive.
|Somehow I get out, climb a tree, try to reach the police
with my cell phone. The police men only joke about my desperate call.
Somehow in the dream enters a clear insight, that this story is ridiculous.
So in the sleep the dream changes towards reality.
A sannyas friend first bought one truck. His business was good. So he buys another truck, very costly for 200.000. His wife, parents and friends help with money. But when the border to East-Germany opens up 1989, he can not compete anymore with his prices. He needs to sell his truck for 20.000 only. His wife leaves him like most of his friends. His parents are pissed. He is broke since years now, on the edge to alcohol abuse. EGO reduction, where ever you watch people around.
|My old Mother can not stand up alone from her seat. My brother helps her. Is this the hardest part of the voyage, when it comes to an end?
Sweety Veety has called our n0by gathering dead since weeks. Still he feels thankful for his time in the group with my function in his fantasies as ''Water Heater''.
He is so happy with Laleelalein, who imagines, to have ''hijacked the cream'' of our gathering for hers. Which cream can this be, being hijacked by Laleela? Maybe she imagines herself as Ultimate Killer Queen of the Hijackers?
|An e-mail-group feels and functions like a sauna. Valerie brings much heat in. Some people imagine her as 'victim', and Cyber Cop Great Priest tries to find comrades, to interrupt Valerie from her internet activities by
public complaints versus her provider. Great Priest claims his plan as ''higher level of moderation''.
Similar he plans in his mind, to stop his public presentation on 31 n0by-pages, dedicated to document his mind activities. Let's wait for the results!
For me it feels ''hostile'', when Laleelalein opens the door of this sauna to sweat out our EGO expectations. For her pleasure, shelter and safety she adjusts in her room the temperature according to her need.
|In her room she feeds her EGO-Expectations with all the attention, she feels worth to get. Like people in closed and censored gatherings pay each other attention in the 'spirit of friendliness', according to 'Master's will', who died decades ago. Reminds me on Salvation Amy
The n0by-group was never created to fulfil any desires, but to demolish our expectations. Expectations in each other, in ourselves and the world in general.
So everybody feels pissed somehow, some leave, some try new groups, some are in silence since long time.
|Laleela finds in her new Lala-Land all the attention she was missing, when Valerie started to flood the list.
Valerie did a great job. Great Priest shows up with the most ugly mask of manipulative repression: he wants someone to complain with examples, how and in which tone Valerie attacked people's self respect in order to destroy her web-account.
The same experiment Great Priest promises to try with my account, because his ass-whipping desires are illustrated with his spanking furore.
|Great Priest has in many pictures and words attacked the n0by-group members, who did not please or respect his way. After a while he gets lost, trying to hold his mask on like all the other wise ones, who left in similar disgust.
He finds help in Laleela, who is happy about this kind of ''cream''. Proudly she reports on the phone, that Iwan has written in private about ''her enlightenment''.
That's the kind of flattery how impress poor people each other with an intolerable mountain of minority complex!
Sweety Veety feels ''La vie en rose'', to serve her as ''white knight'', as her sheltering lover. Maybe he gets in feet licking attempts up to her knees? I doubt, that Sweety Veety ever makes it into her arms, legs and body! But who knows? It would give me maybe even more happiness, that these cyber-lovers meet, when they cross the border from fantasy to reality.
My reality is three hours on the street from Duerrheim to Munich. 200 Kilometers all over this slippery, rainy highways are done, now 130
Kilometers are left.
The traffic jam hinders to drive quick, so I rest and have lunch.
My memories flash back to my dear Old Mother. On the cell phone she immediately had this kind of heart connection to my beloved Mimamai. She works at home, produces candles for her Christmas Market. And I can't help.
But these women help me, to ''ascend'' on earth with her loving heart - connecting to mine.
I wonder, that Ramarshi still is part of our gathering, even his mind demonstrations from his pretended or real no-mind oasis has not moved one person here, to follow him. Maybe Sweety Veety and Laleela, who are interested in private constellations with Ramarshi, will make it one day to the Lake Constance.
|For my feelings Ramarshi enjoys his mind games and looks for followers, to praise his qualities as ''scientific''. Ma Anand Anupamo writes about those ''scientists''. One of them, I have met: an old man of 75 years, who finds out with a pendulum, that my letters have changed from creative to destructive mood. You find Ramarshi reports about these ''facts'' in the group archive. This kind of ''science'' Ma Anand Anupamo likes too very much.
At least these people are not left all alone! My fantasy flowers best in aloofness, reclusion. As writer in my experience you are the best, when you stop talking to people. Than you start to watch the outer and inner world with an inner silence and immense density.
One question remains, and is easy to answer for outsiders: Meet in our free n0by-gathering cream or crop?