Master of Hearts and Disciples in mind

In the middle of the cold, frosty nights my Mima sleeps by my side in our VW Transporter again in Bath Dryhome. My old, 86years old mother with her 10 years older friend from her youth day needs our care. Her 97 years old friend from her youth in Gdansk, from her years together in WW2 in Paris influences my mother in a strange way. 

Her 97 years old friend Ilona Maria claims, that my brother steals her money, and that we, her two sons of 59 and 57 years want to harm our old mother, to get her money.

Christmas 2005 mother has agreed, that my brother and I take care for her things. Otherwise we couldn't have canceled her appartment, that mother couldn't use the last two years anymore. Mother lives in hotels only, and enjoys all luxury possible in her old age.

97years friend Ilona pushes our old mother to a lawyer. Ilona doesn't want, that we brothers care for our mother. But who shall care for our mother, when she is more and more helpless? 

Therefore we both brothers asked a judge to help us. We want to care in all legal affairs for our old mother again, like she had already agreed and signed at 01-09-2006.

Mima sleeps by my side in our VW Transporter

Her old friend is upset, because we bring our old mother to the judge. When we visit mother in her hotel room in the morning, Ilona nearly shouts in her sharp dotter voice: 'Why do you come so early? You disturb us. I have to prepare Edelgard for the process against you!'

But Edelgard, our mother, is happy and relaxed, that Mima and I visit her again. We walk and talk together, and drive together in one cab to the judge, not far from Bath Dryhome.

As big surprise my brother Ulrich shows up in the cafe, where we wait, before the process starts. I have arranged this meeting, because I feel it is important, that we brother help mother in the trial. 

Mother is very happy, because Ulrich comes the first time since September 2006. On this day he drove mother the 600 Kilometres from her summer hotel Bath Laer to Bath Dryhome. 

The judge asks old mother: 'Do you want your sons here to be with you?'

, answers our mother. 

'Do you recognize your sons?', asks the judge.

°Sure, that is Erhard, the big one, and Ulrich, the little one.°

We all start to smile a bit, because what size matters, Ulrich is a bit longer than I am. But because mother gave birth to my brother 18 months after my birth, Ulrich remains her little child since 57 years. And I'm Ulrich's big brother, hihihi.

The judge asks mother: 'Why don't you want, that your sons don't care for you anymore?'

Mother is mixed up: 'No, I want my sons to care for me. That's sure.'

The judge: 'But why have you cancelled this care with help of your lawyer?'

My mother doesn't know any reason. Her old friend Ilona is very nervous, and hammers with her walking sticks on the floor continuously. Then the judge asks her and Mimamai to leave the room.

With old mom, her lawyer and my brother and me, the judge continues his questions. 

'Do your sons want your money?'

she replies convinced, 'no, both have enough money for themselves.'

'But wouldn't it be better, when your sons can care for you in case of emergency?'

'Yes, sure they care for me. I know this.'

'Is it good for you,. to write this down in a legal paper?'

'Yes, that is good.'

And so her lawyer and the judge, old mother and her sons repeat the same procedure, we have done 01-09-2006. Now her lawyer prepares these papers for the prize of several thousand Euros, what didn't cost anything 14 months ago.

Soon we will visit old Mother again, to sign these papers with help of Mom's lawyer.

Although this procedure costs a lot of money, I guess, the old ladies like somehow this thrilling entertainment.

I have told my old mother: 'It hurts Ulrich and me, when Ilona says, that we are stealing from you. Why don't you stop her bad talks about us?'

For a little while my old mother is astonished. Then she answer self surprised: 'Yes, why don't I stop her?'


'Yes, why don't I stop her?'

Similar was the situation in Rajneeshpuram. I watch Ma Anand Sheela in the YouTube videos. And she claims: 'There on the Ranch nobody complained against me. All have adored me as President and followed the orders, Bhagwan gave me as advice for His people.'

I have visited Rajneeshpuram in those crazy days 1983 for one year long. I have trusted Bhagwan Blabla about the benefits of meditations and the reward after all: 'Enlightenment!'

But I have never trusted His organisation. Bhagwan Blabla presented after the fall of Rajneeshpuram with His winning smile: 'I gave you a taste of fascisme.'

Sheela was a good disciple, she was Bhagwan's best disciple. Sheela went into jail with Bhagwan out of deep trust for her Master.

My mind trusted Bhagwan Blabla, but my heart could not trust the Master and His strange device: the organisation of EGO pushing mostly weird women.

After more than 20 year I recognize: trust for Master Bhagwan like Sheela's trust in our Master, that is 'surrender'. 

Now I imagine: Bhagwan wanted to help His people to surrender, when taking my 'Mala' on 23. September 1983 and throwing me out with a busload of homeless people. The Mala was like a sannyas passport in the sannyas scene 1983.

This fascistic film in Rajneeshpuram I nowadays feel and understand as great device to surrender for the people with the hardest ago. Others like Sheela's years in U.S. jail have suffered much more in and after the days of Rajneeshpuram. 

I remember from the stories about Rajneeshpuram a house complex, where some people had to live. Ma Anand Puja, the official doctor, has signed false blood examinations and tested these victims as 'Aids positive'. So these Aids positive people had either to leave Rajneeshpuram or had to live together in a seperate complex like in prison. Those victims were not allowed anymore to mix with the 'sane people' - outside their no go area in Rajneeshpuram.

When Bhagwan has arranged, that Ma Anand Sheela left Rajneeshpuram, the controversity in and outside Rajneeshpuram was not to tolerate anymore. People in the U.S. were so fanatic against the people in Rajneeshpuram and their many violations of U.S. laws, that it was only a question of time, that police troops would have take over the multi million dollar experiment Rajneeshpuram.

That was a very dangerous situation. Bhagwan's surrendered good disciples were in a similar way fantatics like Oregon Rednecks. In this situation Bhagwan must have decided to move in jail voluntary, to safe his people from greater harm of U.S. police and Army.

So Rajneeshpuram collapsed like a blown up EGO. We, His disciples, had mostly nothing but 'trust in our mind',  but most - like me - couldn't follow the heart. I couldn't trust my Inner Voice. Who with a trusty connection to an Inner Guide, would have listened to a Master, who gave us a taste of fascisme? What kind of disciple was able and ready to resist the Master?

When 97 years old Ilona manipulates mother's mind with bad stories about her sons, my old mom is not able to resist. She goes with her friend to the lawyer, pays more than 1.000 Euros, and is in great fear to go to the judge.

Her old friend makes her fear greater with her accusations at lunch before the meeting with the judge: 'So, that will be your last meal. Your son is sweet now, but after the process he will move you to a cheaper place and steal your pension!'

So, that will be your last meal.

These backbitings work in old Mom's mind. But in front of the judge her good mother heart immediately recognizes again, that her sons love her and care for her with all best intentions. The judge and Mom's lawyer feel the same, and find a wise decision.

After the process Ilona jumps on the lawyer outside the room and asks him: 'What is now, are we the winner?'

The lawyer, who has now seen through all her ugly theatre, only gives back: 'Yes all is o.k., ask the family.' And leaves his job and us alone.

As far I understand Bhagwan first and only message: Reduction of EGO. Bhagwan has walked his talk, as far I remember his smile handcuffed in U.S. Jail.

Bhagwan was ready to die like Socrates with a smile as last lecture for his lovers. But he had very rare lovers like Ma Anand Sheela with her solid trust, her immense intelligence and her eminent energy.

Ma Anand Sheela lives clean and let her work be seen: now as 'President' for elder people, who love her. And she cares for them with her loving heart like she had cared for herself and Bhagwan's surrendered lovers.

But it needs a loving heart, to recognize a loving heart. 

A mischievous mind - like in the German tradition of war and competition - even mistrusts, that sons steal money from their old mother.

And old Mom's mind is lost and in despair and in greatest fear, when her 97 years old friend creates these cruel mind imaginations. Somehow mind loves this thrilling entertainment, these emotions like people enjoy in cruel criminal and war films.

But the heart has a softer, sweeter - and unfortunately much more silent voice - we are not used to listen.

Bhagwan was a Master of these loving hearts and taught people to listen to the heart. Ma Anand Sheela has learned to listen to her heart. 

Others - like me - may learn to listen to their heart 25, 30 years later and will recognize and feel the difference between mind blabla and the guidance of a loving heart.

- like in the German tradition of war and competition -