Mom's mind and memory


Thurday 10-05: after my job 300 Kilometres drive to my Old Mom in Bad Duerrheim - near Lake Constance

Saturday: 10-07 home in cold rain

old Mom needs to go to an photographer, 
to get her photos for a new identity card. 

My fantasies about blessed experiences like ''spiritual growth, meditation, beyond-mind-nirvana or transformation'' are mockery. For my feelings either most of these story tellers want some political influence over some sheepish followers or other story tellers believe their own cheatings. I have watched this common disease in many story tellers, who have invested several decades of their life in the 'search for the miraculous'. Many poor 'New Age belief victims' have destroyed by these efforts the 'more normal function' of their mind.

Like our honest friend Jeeva from Chennai many so called 'searchers' demonstrate an obvious result: no matter, what people read or what sermon they listen to: people only get, what's already IN their mind. 

For my feelings these story tellers or poets try more to hide their reality then to reveal their reality. The more witty and wise stories people share or quote, the more ugly and sad is their life!

My friend Veet Tom gives another example. Even he fights hard from month to month to pay the rent for his flat, and even he wins by luck a domain for one year, and even Veet Tom complains twice in a week on the phone about bad boss, bad bureaucracy and miserly money, Veet Tom names his attained domain: ''. Nice dream, instead!

Every time on the phone he starts to complain about his miseries, but Veet Tom balances pain in reality with his fantasy ''. Isn't life a joke? Facts of friend Veet Thomas I know from ongoing phone calls since years - similar with 'Master Kabir' and myself too, I guess: my fantasies analyse arduous and judge joyful each and everyone. Meanwhile my life and strength is leaking away day by day.

Life shows threatening mirrors: the disease of my daughter and of my closest friends like Michael-Kabir or my old juif friend Jiri, the piano man. Jiri, 12 years older, survived this year a heart attack.

Next example my old Mother, soon 86 years old, who lives in different hotels all year long. She asked my one and half year younger brother, to bring her 5.000 Euros. Strange enough, that my brother fulfils her wish in February.

My old Mother is not so happy alone in these little hotels without contact to other people except sometimes to her younger sister, another fine lady above 80 years.

Her friend from her youth days here in Bad Duerrheim is high 96 years old, and not of much help, my old Mom complains, because she is sick many times. But my old Mom too suffers, because she forgets many, many things.

The 5000 Euros she must have forgotten somewhere and somehow, nevertheless my brother brings her three thousands more, and keeps 1.000 for himself as birthday present in August.

Now we look in all her things, where she may have kept her envelope, on which she has written with her tremblng hand:

'10 * 500 Euros'.

Our search is in vain. Therefore we want to open a new banc account, where we can transfer her monthly money to play with. All other expenses like hotel and medical care my brother transfers from her banc.

But to open a new banc account she needs her identity card. This document we search for hours with similar intensity like Chennai friend Jeeva or Hamburg friend Veet Tom search enlightenment. We find neither Mom's 5.000 Euro nor her identity card. So we give up the search. Veet Tom in Hambug and Jeeva in Chennai still search for enlightenment, I guess.

Next my old Mom needs to go to an photographer, to get her photos for a new identity card. 

At least in Bad Duerrheim is a marvellous bath with salty waters and many sauna places, where my body, nerves and heart relax for hours from these painful efforts!

The cold, rainy season begins in our homeland. At night the temperature falls below 10 degrees Celsius. On Monday my brother came with his youngest sun: they bought Mima's old VW-Transporter 'blue whale' from my last woman Ute. I lend my brother the money, because my brother is broke. And I gave my brother my 20 years old Revox speakers, Symbol B, each one with 50 Kilogramms weight.

Mother's friend from her youth

My brother bought the 'blue whale'

And I gave my brother my 20 years old Revox speakers.

Now in this cold rainy darkness my travelling season 2006 ends. From southern countries most luxuris Motor Homes return in winter quartiers. Here in Bad Duerrheim still stand more then 100 of these vehicles in the 'motor home harbour' for 6,9 Euro a night.

travelling season 2006 ends -
here at Lake Constance next to Ueberlingen

Lake Constance - Hedgau

Rest in Restaurant Memmingen

In this 'Seven roof house' in  Memmingen from 1601 tanners have dried the skins.

But after all exciting search adventures for Mom's money and identity card, a short drive to a Cafe in the forest nearby with her, and my holyday hours in the Sauna bath, Mima's car, the Sea Cow, just stands at the side of the street with closed jalousies. 

Feeling wounded inside I want to drive home to my Mimamai in search some shelter somehow. Life - special old age - feels like a massacre!

This 96 years old friend of my Mom lost her eye light in an operation six years ago. She blames the medicines for the failure and asked me to search for a lawyer in the web to fight for compensation. In a similar furious way she attacks now my brother: 'He has stolen the money! Who else?'

I defend my brother, but her 'Female German Warrior Ego' only nags, to shout up. 

her 'Female German Warrior Ego' only nags, to shout up.

Memmingen: Memorial for the German Warrior Ego