Sw. Sudesh story of Flattery

 

I have always been the greatest - already in 1976 in India with the Master. Only this didn’t help a lot. The birth of my beloved daughter was a miscarriage, which gave her a severe handicap in walking for her life. Having failed with my own wisdom, I was ready for the next Guru. At that time he was called Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. On the second of February 1981 he put his Mala around my neck. With this I was again the Greatest and the Messiahs of Bhagwan, the salt of the earth in the circle of His chosen few. The religious Ma of Bhagwan, mother of my daughter, helped me to further insights into the nothingsness of all my believes, which I had to pay for with a sudden crack of my lung on the 24th of April 1983.  with cracked lung 4'83 Herewith my highly payed career as a leading insurance agent was damaged as well as my marriage and my health. As one of the "Top-100-salesmen", rewarded with a voyage to Athen and Greece-Islands '82 But how much did my pride increase, when in Aachen I was even allowed to serve the Master. But unfortunately first of all at the ordered move of the Ashram to Cologne Swami Bishop Ramatheertha kicked me out of this beloved circle of the noble with the device to mature in Rajneeshpuram. But on the 21st of October, 1984, after I had payed 20.000 German Marks for my ripening, I was kicked out of the Holy Oregon-Commune. They also took my mala away, so that from then on, like an outcast, I could not hope for any love of a serious Ma. Furthermore, I was so broken, that in the United States I had to collect money for the hungry, in order to buy something to eat from the collection. In my begging letters to the Ranch I tried to become a fully accepted member again. I got little positive answers from Ma Anand Sheela and her friends. When then Swami Ramateertha gave me a new Mala in the second week of January 1985, I only owned one suitcase and one room in an accomodation with many drunkards of the demi-monde. My divorce was coming near.Within three "successful" Sannyas-years I had sacrificed my marriage, career, health and money to my spiritual ripening. It’s been a damned good investion.   Swami Anand Sudesh, 21.Oct.1999